And the Oscar goes to….

From advertisements placed by writers seeking buyers for their screenplays, in the July/August issue of Spec Script Marketplace: The Independent Source of Movie Scripts Ready to Shoot, a bimonthly newsletter published in Santa Monica, California.

Four Monsters and a Funeral

Deranged monster quartet ravages a desert town, raising the ire of hippie newspaper reporter, grizzled sheriff, and dim-witted Elvis impersonator. Packed with irritating songs, bizarre dialogue, and monsters dining on human body parts, comparing spleens to lungs. Tremors from the monsters’ point of view.

Interpretive Dance

Tony has a talent and love for interpretive dance. Unfortunately, Tony is as thick and clueless as he is talented. But he’ll get the part in the big production, Interpretive Dance, with the help of a tough ex-G.I, who also has a passion for expressive dance.

King of the Mountain

Hip teens, extreme sports action, gritty drama, cinematic Alaskan location. Kyle Hale was the youngest extreme snowboarder in the world–until his brother died on his dad’s fishing boat. Now he’s an apathetic drunk when the world extreme competition comes to town. Rocky meets Dazed and Confused.

Father, Forgive Me

Young priest Father Michael Anthony is dispatched to an inner-city church to investigate a supposed miracle. While there, he finds death, passion, and.., forgiveness. Steadfast Sister Ann becomes an ally and more. This provocative story grabs on to you and doesn’t let go. Nothing immoral, but daring.

Racing Lucifer

Good Will Hunting meets Shine. Dr. John Edgar’s life isn’t normal. A nasty divorce, a loving son he can’t see, a bipolar brother, an affair with a married woman, an alcoholic friend, drug abuse, a one-night stand, abusive parents, and the threat of losing his medical license. Satisfying for both studios and independents.

Power Kills

The eccentric owner of a power-tool company takes a young maverick film crew and a cast of buff male and female models to a remote location to shoot a commercial. Sex and hilarious situations prevail until people turn up dead, killed in unusual ways with power tools.

Aphrodisiac

When the dead body Rita stumbles upon in the mall ladies’ room disappears, she drags her long-suffering sister into a harebrained scheme to unravel the mystery. From Chinatown to northern California’s forests, the amateur sleuths get entangled in a dangerous undercover operation and bear poaching.

Seatko

An anthropology professor must find and destroy an ancient evil spirit in the form of a beautiful mute girl who terrorizes a small coastal community by sucking the brains out of every man she meets. Based on a Pacific Northwest Indian legend.

Once in a Blue Moon

This mythical romantic comedy tells the story of a single veterinarian at New York’s Central Park Zoo who unwittingly falls in love with a faun.

Taste of My Heart

He’s a good cop with a new wife, a new baby, a nice life. Then a brutal murder reunites him with the totally bad, completely irresistible woman of his past. Complications include awesome computer crime, a rocket attack over Los Angeles, and sex on a roller coaster.

Weighing In

Three American passions–politics, weight loss, and sex–collide headlong when a mayoral candidate hires a no-nonsense dietician to help him lose weight before the election. She’s all business, he’s in love. It’s winning versus losing in the politics of romance.

A Wrong Turn at Neptune

Two lovable aliens are marooned on Earth after losing their way in space. But here’s the catch: it takes place 148 million years ago, in the age of the dinosaurs. Romancing the Stone meets Jurassic Park, then trips over Men in Black. Merchandising bonanza.

Bloodsuckers

Small-budget production, but all the fun of a Spielberg vehicle. Seventy years ago, thousands of dollars in bootlegger cash disappeared into a frozen lake in a Model T. Now the only thing that stands between the cash and rival treasure hunters is a massive school of hungry leeches.

Rhubarb

A winning lottery ticket is stolen from a poor Appalachian woman. To retrieve the prize, the woman and her young daughter must make a long trek to California. They desperately need the money for an expensive operation required to remove a hatchet from the girl’s head.

A Piece of Heaven

A man sues God.

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